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The human condition is so complicated and overpowering.

I want something very badly, but I do not know what it is.  And maybe I already have it.

There is this sort of...pulsation in my mind.  It's like some secret force is whispering music into my thoughts, and the music is actually a code for some ultimate, profound truth or wisdom.  I want that music to be louder, and I also want to understand the code.

Any moment could be our last.  Someone was telling me today about a man who passed away at age 40;  he had been diagnosed with brain cancer at age 30, and, presumably had been battling it for the entire time.  That is truly heartbreaking.

Think about your pets that have passed away.  Think about the people you have known that have passed away. How many beautiful spirits have you seen come and go? How many amazing, innocent lives have been snatched up in what seemed an unfair turn of events?  And that's everyone.  No matter how full and great one's life has been, it is always going to be unfair.  Nobody wants their loved ones to transform into whatever state it is that awaits on the other side of this life.  We want them to stay.  We want their thoughts and their presence and their personality to be near to us, available to comfort us, available to enjoy life with us.  It is telling that, even for people who believe that an eternity of good things awaits them after they die, almost nobody is secretly hoping that, despite how great their life is, a bus will suddenly run them over.  We all want to live.  We all want our loved ones to live.

Any moment could be our last, and yet we are not really free to live as if that is the case.  That is the real challenge of our lives.  To not get caught up in monotony...to not sacrifice too much of our present for the sake of some uncertain future.  I was reading an article a while ago about the things that dying people regret.  It wasn't that surprising, but it was very moving.  It is good to remember that all people are, ultimately, the same.  No matter how different you think someone is, we all have flaws and weaknesses.  We all make mistakes.  We are all dying together, from the moment we are born.

"What vast expanses of beauty and despair, what soaring joys and plummeting tragedies are birthed by the pulse of our hearts and the cascades of chemicals and electrical activity in our minds? We cannot know the great distances that are traversed by our love and anguish, and we cannot know, ultimately, if we are truly alone or if we are all together. It is the paradox that brings us agonizingly to our knees when we feel betrayal, and overwhelms us like a tidal wave when we truly believe we see the depth of our affection reflected in equal measure in our lovers' eyes. Each and every one of us is cloistered away in a world of isolation, and yet that separateness is enjoined with all other lives in the lattice of change and faith in the reality of shared experience."

Take a deep breath.  Think about what is important.  Remember to be aware of what's going on around you, and try not to just be "going through the motions".  Do your best, and appreciate all the glory that universe has given us.