Always flux. Emotional. Physical. Financial. Sometimes it's hard not to feel that the tides of life are dizzying in the speed and variation of their swell and depth.
I've been pretty productive lately. It's been a good feeling, making progress. At the same time, the same old challenges remain. Personal doubts, anxieties, weaknesses. How do I crush them? The goal is clear, but the path is not. Time flies by, and who you were changes into you are, again and again, every moment.
I'm burning with this fuel. I need to improve myself. I need to take what I am train it, constrain it, teach it how to be perfectly ready. And I need to improve the world around me.
I'm tired. I need a vacation from being me. But the responsibilities and obligations are always there. Maybe a Zen master would say that we are not separate from our responsibilities and obligations. Of course we are separate, but we are also not separate. If you did not have your so-called problems, you would not be you. You would be like water dissipating into the air if you did not have some rocks and sand to bounce off of and flow around. Our very existence is energy bouncing off energy, and it gives you the illusion of everything that you see, everything that you are. So do not fight your existence.
Go. Go. Go.
Fight. Fight. Fight.
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