One of the most interesting changes in my personality over the last couple years is that I have a greater ability/tendency to restrain myself, mentally and interpersonally. Probably this is due in part (or entirely) simply to age...I've read that frontal cortex development has a lot to do with impulse control and restraint, and that this development continues well into our 20s (a decade which I'm currently in).
I wonder how much of this change is also due to my life experience, or to my recent increase in meditation. Lately, I often feel some emotional urge to do or say something, but it's like there is an animal in my mind which is trying to become "me." Whereas before I had no ability to distinguish between my "self" and this component thereof, I now realize that these emotional urges are just one form of my being.
Of course, I'm not always able to resist. Many things still cause me to lose my self-awareness. Working, joking, socializing often obscure my ability to distinguish between canvas and painting, and when that happens my emotions have easy access to my behavior.
Bizarre.
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