tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5751108281894029312024-03-19T11:40:40.477-07:00Shadow of a CloudReflections on Meaning in a World of ImpermanenceAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17515416238657763828noreply@blogger.comBlogger77125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-575110828189402931.post-32052845142993052772015-08-01T12:16:00.001-07:002018-08-30T21:06:40.436-07:00My prezi from way back<iframe src="https://prezi.com/ywx1oqcxeam8/daniel-borhanian/" style="border:0px #000000 none;" name="My iFrame for my Prezi" scrolling="yes" frameborder="1" marginheight="px" marginwidth="0px" height="60px" width="468px"></iframe>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17515416238657763828noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-575110828189402931.post-90780085896276623032015-02-22T17:30:00.002-08:002015-02-22T17:30:44.107-08:00The Zen of a Rubix CubeI've been working on a Rubix Cube lately, and it has been an interesting experience in multiple ways.<br />
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I know, as everyone is so keen to point out, that there is a formula to solving it. But I'm not willing to look it up. I want to see if I can figure it out on my own. I've reached a point where I can solve about two-thirds of it with relative ease, but the rest is proving to be quite the challenge.<br />
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I noticed, along the way, that somehow the whole thing is oddly Zen. That's kind of weird to say, because it's impossible to say what Zen is and what it isn't (I think?). Zen is everything and Zen is nothing, so the whole thing is this a weird/amusing/mind-blowing conundrum. But, putting that aside...<br />
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When trying to solve it, it seems that most of my efforts are too forced, or something like that. For instance, I'll be exploring different angles/arrangements/combinations of the sides, not making any progress, when all of a sudden I will somehow just instinctively make some changes to it that move me in the right direction. And I don't know how exactly I reached the thoughts necessary to do that. It's almost as if there is some part of my mind that needs coaxing, and when it eventually decides to strike, my normal brain is not sure what happened. This reminds me of some of the experiences I've had with meditation, when you struggle and struggle to be calm or to stay in meditation, and then, without warning, your whole mind is operating in some new way. It is also very reminiscent of various<br />
descriptions of how students of Zen "solve" koans.<br />
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In finally coming to understand a few "tricks" or sequences that allow me to recreate certain changes to the overall cube, it is quite mind-expanding to see how circuitous the necessary steps can be. At first you think you just have to turn one side in one direction, for example, and then you realize that you actually have to shift an edge to another side, before you can make the required change and then shift everything back. It is somehow both beautifully complex and simple.<br />
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Also, a Rubix Cube helped me to understand a Zen idea that I sometimes have trouble with, which is that we are trying to return to "original nature". It's a strange idea that we somehow came from a state that is, paradoxically, the state in which we currently are. See the following article: http://apocryphile.org/jrm/articles/merton.html<br />
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Anyway, with that, I'm going to go back to working on my Rubix cube.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17515416238657763828noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-575110828189402931.post-68259095736352008412014-08-11T12:11:00.002-07:002017-05-24T23:47:21.011-07:00filled with regret? Sigh. It seems my entire existence can be summed up by a single sigh, at least currently. I'm currently in Folsom visiting my aunt/uncle/nieces, which is a fairly comforting way to pass the time, but I still can't help but question basically everything. I'm reminded, a little bit, of the movie "Inception," in which Saito says "don't you want to take a leap of faith? Or do you want to become an old man, filled with regret? " I'm currently struggling, perhaps just a little, to not be drowning in regret of my own. Mostly, of course, this is because of the accident. Although, I guess I was dealing with a lot of angst just prior to my accident as well. Now it's just considerably more.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17515416238657763828noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-575110828189402931.post-46580766617822051502014-05-09T10:50:00.000-07:002014-05-09T10:52:02.463-07:00Not Feeling Good (relatively)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Things are not always perfect in your mind. Or, to be more specific, things are not always perfect in <i>my </i>mind. Sometimes you plan things that don't work out exactly the way you want them to, and that just kinda throws everything off kilter.</div>
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But, as I was thinking earlier today, sometimes you just have to take your "problems" and force yourself to contrast them with <i>some other situations in life:</i><br />
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Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Your life, by and large, is probably fantastic compared to the REAL problems that people have in life. Maybe your job isn't perfect, maybe the food in your fridge is bland, maybe your furniture is shabby....<i>there is a higher purpose to life than dealing with issues like that!</i><br />
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We all need to remember what we want is often very far from what we actually <i>need.</i> I've been doing way too much bitching lately (although admittedly, I currently have some super considerably good reasons to do so: i.e. my motorcycle accident and all the resulting health problems see this recent post: HTTP://shadowofacloud.blogspot.com/2014/05/first-update-in-long-long-time.html). Anyway, make the best of what you do have and try not to worry too much about you don't. I know that's usually easier said than done...Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17515416238657763828noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-575110828189402931.post-45765830626751673782014-05-08T13:17:00.000-07:002017-05-25T11:32:48.836-07:00first update in a long, long timeugh. this is my first post since 10/29/2013. You may want to grab a beverage and/or a snack, because this a long, long tale (that still continues). In my defense (not that I have any followers/fans to apologize to or whatever), I was in a catastrophic motorcycle accident on November 7th of last year.<br />
I was on my way to meet my girlfriend for dinner when a young woman (I'm not sure how old...)"failed to yield " and hit my motorcycle with her SUV.<br />
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Since then I have been in 4 hospitals: UCLA Harbor, UCLA Ronald Reagan, Vibra Hospital, and Sharp Memorial (in which I went through in-patient therapy). I also went through a program that is part of Sharp, called 'the Community Re-Entry Program, or CREP for short. This has definitely been the most challenging chapter of my life (way more challenging than puberty, haha). I have had to re-learn how to walk, dress myself, bathe, groom, etc. Maybe "re-learn" isn't really the right verb. It's just that doing all of those things is now horrifyingly difficult. Now I am doing out-patient therapy through a program called "Rehab Without Walls," in which therapists come to my house to do rehabilitative things with me (basically it is all the various kinds of therapy: physical, occupational, cognitive, and even recreational <the fun one>. It is relatively cool.<br />
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Perhaps I should explain what happened so that this epic tale has some context: I was in a coma for I believe about a month. My parents were in Hawaii at the time, so I guess I cut their vacation a little short. I broke both of my legs, my left arm, some of my ribs, my left hip, and my nose. Additionally, as a result of the broken ribs, my lung collapsed. I'm just damn lucky I didn't break my spine. However, as a result of my head being shook (shaken?) around inside my helmet, I have a severe traumatic brain injury. Bummer! Luckily, I'm still very intelligent and I can still speak Chinese, although reading and writing Chinese is a little more difficult.<br />
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So, basically every weekday, I have one of those kinds of therapy, and often more than once a day (for example, I might have physical therapy in the morning and cognitive therapy in the early afternoon<br />
(this is where a sarcastic "yay!" is inserted).<br />
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Currently, as I write this post, I am waiting for my physical therapist to arrive. Physical is always my least favorite type of therapy. I was never much of an athlete in high school or college. I did like to go to the gym when I was in college, but in typical male fashion, I basically only paid attention to my upper body. Recovering has definitely been the greatest challenge I've ever been through. And I suspect I won't ever be the same as I was before my accident, physically, mentally, or emotionally. "Emotionally" is an interesting dimension to examine though. I'm definitely just as friendly and kind as I was before my accident, but after seeing all the people in the 'CREP' program, I definitely have a new (or somewhat modified) sense of appreciation for what I do have. A lot of the other people in that program were in similar situations, but were much older. That's always a bummer, as recovery becomes more difficult as you age. As part of my progression back into real life, one of my therapists (I believe it was cognitive) recommended I continue blogging. Thus this post was created. Farewell for now.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17515416238657763828noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-575110828189402931.post-86283897806384554062013-10-29T20:02:00.002-07:002013-10-29T20:02:24.834-07:00LifeAlthough it is very challenging, I love life.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17515416238657763828noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-575110828189402931.post-9685012611981137342013-10-18T22:57:00.006-07:002013-10-18T22:57:57.109-07:00ResolveFight fight fight. I have been going through a lot of weird stuff lately. Mostly positive, but also some challenges. Work has been very busy and stressful. And yet, I still love my job. I love my job so much. I thank the universe every day for the fact that I like my job, because it really is a huge blessing. I only hope that I can really contribute to my company and help take it to the next level, because we really could get huge.<br />
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Lately I've been thinking a lot about how little I know. From the very big, macrocosmic-level issues...does life have meaning, do I have a destiny, am I somehow the architect of my own reality...to the very small, day-to-day issues...is it right to do this or that, am I taking care of everything on my to-do list, I am keeping myself healthy...there's just so much uncertainty in life. And it seems like there really is no way to know.<br />
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不識廬山真面目只緣身在此山中<br />
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Life is always going to be overwhelming for all of us I think. Or at least, it will be if you are paying attention. The thing to do is just to let yourself be overwhelmed. It's hard to do that because we want to be in control. Evolution and nature and culture puts pressure on us to fight, and to win. But ultimately you can't win, per se. Technology may help us transcend our current, physical limitations, perhaps. But there are just too many huge forces beyond our control. We're all mortal, for the time being. So if you just relax, let yourself be overwhelmed, then you can sort of be free.<br />
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That's not to say that we should give up. Letting yourself be overwhelmed is not that at all. It just means that you're not fighting reality. You're just doing your best without resisting what is.<br />
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Fight fight fight, but also let things be.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17515416238657763828noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-575110828189402931.post-13897252762177551922013-10-14T19:32:00.001-07:002013-10-14T19:32:24.508-07:00MantraI will not dwell on weaknesses or mistakes.<br />
I will accept them, learn from them, and then move on.<br />
I will dwell on change and improvement. <br />
I will accept that I can change, and that I will change.<br />
I will respect the feelings of others. I will respect that I am just one part of a greater system.<br />
I will never tolerate weaknesses or excuses from myself. I will not accept limitations as being permanent or greater than my own ability to overcome them.<br />
I will accept moments as they come.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17515416238657763828noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-575110828189402931.post-16855610140758934642013-10-07T23:27:00.000-07:002013-10-07T23:27:08.088-07:00Zen: a Word that Cannot be TranslatedI realized today that I love "zen" as a concept for much the same reason that I love "zen" as a word. It is a word that cannot be translated. Similarly, it is a concept that cannot be explained. It's this perfectly unique, mental, philosophical, and even physical, key. Thinking beyond thinking. Would love to write more on this, but tons of work to be done.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17515416238657763828noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-575110828189402931.post-80134122372854637192013-10-06T23:30:00.000-07:002013-10-06T23:30:09.101-07:00MeditationAlways flux. Emotional. Physical. Financial. Sometimes it's hard not to feel that the tides of life are dizzying in the speed and variation of their swell and depth.<br />
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I've been pretty productive lately. It's been a good feeling, making progress. At the same time, the same old challenges remain. Personal doubts, anxieties, weaknesses. How do I crush them? The goal is clear, but the path is not. Time flies by, and who you were changes into you are, again and again, every moment.<br />
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I'm burning with this fuel. I need to improve myself. I need to take what I am train it, constrain it, teach it how to be perfectly ready. And I need to improve the world around me.<br />
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I'm tired. I need a vacation from being me. But the responsibilities and obligations are always there. Maybe a Zen master would say that we are not separate from our responsibilities and obligations. Of course we are separate, but we are also not separate. If you did not have your so-called problems, you would not be you. You would be like water dissipating into the air if you did not have some rocks and sand to bounce off of and flow around. Our very existence is energy bouncing off energy, and it gives you the illusion of everything that you see, everything that you are. So do not fight your existence.<br />
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Go. Go. Go.<br />
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Fight. Fight. Fight.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17515416238657763828noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-575110828189402931.post-29853401527087925212013-07-16T00:21:00.004-07:002013-07-16T00:21:56.667-07:00Checking InBut what am I checking into? With whom? I'm very slowly getting my life together, but as fast as some things get taken off my to-do list, 10 more get added on. Or at least that's what it feels like. I'd love to write a lot right now, but alas, I need to sleep. I need to be better in many ways.<br /><br />Frustration.<br />
<br />Sigh.<br /><br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17515416238657763828noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-575110828189402931.post-44943625652929687712013-06-27T00:38:00.000-07:002013-06-27T00:38:22.121-07:00WoofI was, relatively, super productive today. But I still feel so far away from accomplishing the things that I actually want. That's a tough feeling to deal with. I even meditated not that long ago, which usually helps me clear away some of this angst. Ironically, I was talking with my colleague today about how important it is not to set expectations for ourselves that are too high, and yet I'm doing that right now.<br /><br />Stay strong. Fight fight fight. Go go go. Be awesome.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17515416238657763828noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-575110828189402931.post-49860287933420418502013-06-19T23:35:00.001-07:002013-06-19T23:35:05.033-07:00UpdateIt's been a while. Life is, in general, on an upswing. I moved into a new apartment with my old friend. My new job has been going great, seemingly. The funny thing is now I have a lot to lose. If I somehow lost my job, I would be in very hot water, as I'd have to find a way to pay my debts and my rent. So, yeah, really hoping this continues working out.<br /><br />This morning I was not feeling super great. I was in a negative thought spiral. Interestingly, I just started berating myself about these negative thoughts. <i>How can you be so negative?</i> I chided myself. <i>Why don't you focus on what you DO have going for you instead of what you don't?</i> And that basically did the trick, I started focusing on the truth of my position in life. My life might not be anywhere close to how I <i>want </i>it to be, but, realistically, whose is? My life is really good at this point in time.<br /><br />That being said, I know that I do need to improve. I need to improve a lot. I'm not being responsible with my money or my time. I work hard and I'm not a complete wreck, but my goal is to be very productive outside of work and I'm usually far from it. Maybe it's not realistic...I imagine most people have an innate need for several hours of relaxation/cool-down time after 8+ hours of work and however many hours of commuting. Work is stressful. But I bet there is a way to tune/calibrate one's behaviors and mindset such that productivity outside of work can be rewarding. It probably all boils down to routines and rules.<br /><br />It's tough to know how hard I should be on myself. I'm worried that my Chinese, which was going really strong, is starting to regress heavily (again). Another thing to add to my list of routines to build. Sigh.<br /><br />Anyway, good to get some thoughts down in print again. It's weird how forming raw emotion into something that is regulated by spelling and grammar is kind of therapeutic. <br /><br />I need to remind myself to keep improving. Keep being productive. Turn yourself into one of the world's most amazing people. Don't let others slow you down or encourage bad habits. Be brilliant. Be awesome.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17515416238657763828noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-575110828189402931.post-17627637775115769662013-05-01T20:30:00.003-07:002013-05-01T20:39:56.307-07:00Overwhelmed...and Life after Non-ExistenceI feel very overwhelmed. There's just too much of everything. I guess I need to go for a walk.<br />
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Edit: Before I let it slip my mind, here's one thing I was thinking about the other day.<br />
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I was watching some videos about atheism and hell, and the speaker said that he didn't believe in hell (for good reasons), and that he believes that after we die, "nothing happens."<br />
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In terms of how "normal" people seem to classify various ideologies, I think I'm closer to being an atheist than a theist, but actually I consider myself to be a "<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pantheism" target="_blank">pantheist</a>". I'm not sure I believe anything "happens" after we die, but I find it strange when people think that science provides no evidence for life after death.<br />
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I think a lot of people who consider themselves atheists and who believe that nothing happens after we die would think it's fair to say that, after death, we are non-existent. So we are alive/we exist, and then we do not. But this presents (in my view), a problem, because they would presumably also say that we are non-existent before we born. So there is a period of non-existence, and then we do exist. And that is exactly what they are saying they think is impossible.<br />
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There is evidence of life after non-existence. We are all living that evidence right now.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17515416238657763828noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-575110828189402931.post-66343087190929591112013-04-09T12:04:00.003-07:002013-04-09T12:04:36.715-07:00Summon ConvictionMassive change, yet again. Apparently I'm getting pretty good at completely altering my life with very quick decisions. Whether or not those alterations lead to net positives remains to be seen, although it sure feels good so far.<br /><br />Now I'm dealing with brutal jet lag, a lack of closet space, and a little bit of a lack of structure. I need to focus, and restart some good habits that I've let slip.<br /><br />Go, go, go.<br /><br />Even if you feel hesitant to do something challenging, even if you think you need to rest, you can't let your drive wane.<br /><br />Fight, fight, fight.<br /><br />Accept what must be accepted, but never let the fire inside you become too faint. If it does, you have to work hard to restore it.<br /><br />Be awesome.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17515416238657763828noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-575110828189402931.post-30759398505656475812013-03-25T22:25:00.001-07:002013-03-25T22:25:15.584-07:00HmmI've had a ton of thoughts/ideas that I've wanted to write here, but alas, at the moment they've all slipped away. I remember some of them being quite profound (relatively), but I guess without writing them down, sometimes even deep and powerful thoughts can pass without leaving an imprint.<br />
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Of course, a lot of those thoughts came when I was in bed, falling asleep. And I know I'm not the first person to notice that some of life's most interesting thoughts come at the time when it is most challenging to get up and write them down.<br />
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That being said, just now I was thinking about the idea of "enlightenment." A lot of Buddhist stories/lore talk about how certain koans, paradoxical statements, or simple events caused famous Buddhists to "become enlightened." I'm not sure to what extent this corresponds to the idea of "satori." Thinking about these moments though, led me to remember a time when I was on a subway in a very terrible city. The subway was crowded and frustrating, and so I had taken to trying to meditate while standing in the crowded space. After weeks of these attempts, a moment struck where I seemed to break through a ton of mental barriers all at once. The subway doors opened and I stepped out into a very beautiful and amazing world. I couldn't stop myself from laughing and smiling at everything, even though only hours earlier I had felt that the city was awful and my life quite challenging. It truly felt like I had connected with some deeper part of myself that was normally dormant. The feeling lasted for several hours, but the experience made a huge impression on me about the nature of reality.<br />
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Just now, revisiting that memory, it almost felt like that state of mind/being was just around the corner yet again. This makes me wonder if that perspective is always waiting for us somewhere, waiting for us to change our thoughts in just the right way so that the universe opens up.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17515416238657763828noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-575110828189402931.post-57735084836241088192013-03-19T06:27:00.000-07:002013-03-19T06:27:25.171-07:00SacrificeMy friends invited me to go do something fun with them tonight. As usual, I turned them down. It's tough because I know they think I'm a flake or that I'm aloof or something. I want to have friends and I want to have fun, but the reality is I am totally in debt and totally need a better job.<br /><br />So I sacrifice.<br /><br />It's really tough, but if I can't have friends or do fun things until I get my life under control, so be it. I don't have the luxury of time or money. I've been doing a lot of job interviews lately, and working hard to get out of the mess that I'm in.<br /><br />In 10 years' time, having pulled myself out of poverty by working hard and making sacrifices will give my life meaning (assuming I don't get hit by a bus). In 10 years' time, having spent many an evening playing video games and drinking beer with my friends probably will not.<br /><br />Don't be discouraged by giving up that which you want. Animal urges do not take precedence over self-cultivation and productivity.<br />
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You know the path you are on, and others do not. Stay on the path you have chosen for yourself.<br /><br />Go, go, go.<br />Fight, fight, fight.<br /><br />Be awesome.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17515416238657763828noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-575110828189402931.post-24050711129376782172013-03-18T09:55:00.000-07:002013-03-18T09:55:01.412-07:00catalystaside from chance, committing to a tough decision seems to be the biggest catalyst for massive change. one email just altered my entire work schedule and workload drastically. moral of the story: have the courage to do what your instincts tell you.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17515416238657763828noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-575110828189402931.post-63490981777427495722013-02-23T10:29:00.001-08:002013-02-23T10:32:07.159-08:00ThoughtsToday someone told me following:<br />
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"We all search for [the monomyth], you more explicitly than anyone else i know."<br />
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For those of you who haven't heard of it, it is a formula described by a man named Joseph Campbell, and it is purported to underlie many of the narratives in human culture:A hero ventures forth from the world of common day into a region of supernatural wonder: fabulous forces are there encountered and a decisive victory is won: the hero comes back from this mysterious adventure with the power to bestow boons on his fellow man.Campbell and other scholars, such as <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erich_Neumann_(psychologist)">Erich Neumann</a>, describe narratives of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gautama_Buddha">Gautama Buddha</a>, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moses">Moses</a>, and <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christ">Christ</a> in terms of the monomyth and Campbell argues that classic myths from many cultures follow this basic pattern.<br />
<br />It is mind-blowing to me that anyone could think I am searching for this pattern more explicitly than anyone else they know. I have never considered myself to be in search of it. But after he said it to me, I felt that I do resonate with the notion...that I'm searching for it, not that I should be searching for it more than anyone else.<br />
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I often wonder how often other people are "searching" for something. I suppose I often wonder whether or not I am actually searching for anything.<br />
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I like Buddhism. In some ways. But I find that I'm becoming somewhat disillusioned with a lot of the "spiritual" teachers out there. To me, talk of "dissolving problems" or "interacting with the universe lovingly" is often little more than flowery snake oil. I think it is important, if one is "pursuing" Zen, or whatever it is that we do, to not get caught up in what I call "rich people Zen." I do not think being Zen is about being comfortable or happy. Being comfortable and happy may be a side product of Zen, sometimes. But I like to think (not trying to liberate myself from the addiction to thought, of course) that even if my life somehow became horrible, such as by being trapped in a prison cell or being the victim of some horrible disaster, that Zen would still "be there", even while living in agony. And I guess that's part of my whole qualm with these people. It is impossible to even talk about Zen, because it is separate from words and ideas. It includes words and ideas, but it is also separate from them. So to say something like "your problems no longer exist when you understand Zen," or anything like that, is not what it's about. <br />
<br />
I think this quote from <i>Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind</i> does a better job of addressing it than I can:<br />
<br />
<i>Dogen-zenji said, “Although everything has Buddha nature, we love flowers, and we do not care for weeds.” This is true of human nature. But that we are attached to some beauty is itself Buddha’s activity. That we do not care for weeds is also Buddha’s activity. We should know that. If you know that, it is all right to attach to something. If it is Buddha’s attachment, that is non-attachment. So in love there should be hate, or non-attachment. And in hate there should be love, or acceptance. Love and hate are one thing. We should not attach to love alone. We should accept hate. We should accept weeds, despite how we feel about them. If you do not care for them, do not love them; if you love them, then love them.</i><br />
<br />
<i>Usually you criticize yourself for being unfair to your surroundings; you criticize your unaccepting attitude. But there is a very subtle difference between the usual way of accepting and our way of accepting things, although they may seem exactly the same. We have been taught that there is no gap between nighttime and daytime, no gap between you and I. This means oneness. But we do not emphasize even oneness. If it is one, there is no need to emphasize one.</i><br />
<br />
****<br />
<br />
Lately I've been wondering if seemingly unrelated aspects of life can influence each other. For example, could it be that the universe is somehow watching us? Logically I think no, but I feel that I could never be certain. Perhaps that's a side effect of my Catholic childhood. Or maybe it's just human nature to question that. I guess another quote from <i>ZMBM</i> is appropriate here as well:<br /><br /><i>If someone is watching you, you can escape from him, but if no one is watching, you cannot escape from yourself.</i><br />
<br />
I guess ultimately we can never separate ourselves from the universe, and we are always watching ourselves. So this universe is always watching us as well. But still, does this answer my question of whether or not seemingly unrelated aspects of life influence each other?<br />
<br />
<br />
****<br />
<br />
Go, go, go.<br />
Fight, fight, fight.<br />
Be awesome.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17515416238657763828noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-575110828189402931.post-6433588945003218432013-02-22T08:11:00.002-08:002013-02-22T08:11:42.167-08:00_/|\_We are already here.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17515416238657763828noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-575110828189402931.post-56156117436785052622013-01-29T06:34:00.001-08:002013-01-29T06:34:22.922-08:00Fascinating Articles on Self-Controlhttp://www.spring.org.uk/2008/09/how-to-improve-your-self-control.php<br /><br />http://www.spring.org.uk/2010/03/self-control-instantly-replenished-by-self-affirmation.php<br /><br />http://www.spring.org.uk/2012/06/the-merest-thought-of-money-replenishes-self-control.php<br /><br />http://www.spring.org.uk/2011/04/top-10-self-control-strategies.php<br /><br />http://www.spring.org.uk/2010/03/how-to-increase-your-self-control-without-really-trying.phpAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17515416238657763828noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-575110828189402931.post-6830275056306848622013-01-29T00:26:00.000-08:002013-01-29T00:26:29.660-08:00BreatheWith this breath, I accept the truth.<br />With this breath, I let go of that which will go.<br />With this breath, I take hold of that which will be held.<br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 17.266666412353516px;">道生一、一生二、二生三、三生萬物</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17515416238657763828noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-575110828189402931.post-28816059408957100562013-01-27T10:03:00.002-08:002013-01-27T10:03:20.721-08:00A Bell Rings Through the ForestAs I watch the world change,<br />Clouds are born and dissipate,<br />Mountains grow and crumble away,<br />A bell rings,<br />Its reverberations cut through moments like a sharpened blade.<br />The clear forest air fills with solidity.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17515416238657763828noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-575110828189402931.post-57111843921026625882013-01-21T07:51:00.002-08:002013-01-21T07:52:18.627-08:00Strength?<span style="font-family: inherit;">I went with some friends to a Buddhist temple the other day. They just came to look around, but I went with the intention of meditating. It's a pretty magnificent temple, and I find that it's a little easier to clear my mind there. While I was meditating, my friends continued to walk around, and I wondered, briefly, what they thought about my interest in meditation. At that moment it struck me, although not for the first time, that meditation has deeply changed my life, and that there is as much to explore in the "world" of meditation as there is in the physical world that we traverse with our feet.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Lately I can tell that my mental world (mindscape?) is somewhat pocked by adverse thoughts. In a sense, I feel that a new creature has come to life inside of me, or rather that some primitive, previously dormant creature has awakened. Of course, the feelings themselves are not completely new, but I haven't felt that they were so strong or influential in a long time. It is bizarre because I can sense that these thoughts are somehow able to manipulate <i>other</i> thoughts into supporting them. It's as if I can view reality through my "normal" lens or this relatively new, reawakened one...and sometimes the reawakened lens can move <i>itself</i> into a position of primacy.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">The challenge arises when I consider the question of what <i>should</i> be. Should I resist these thoughts? Should I embrace them? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Shunryu Suzuki:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 189.0pt; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: PMingLiU; mso-fareast-language: ZH-TW;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">"So whether or not
you attain enlightenment, just to sit in zazen is enough. When you try to attain enlightenment, then
you have a big burden on your mind. Your
mind will not be clear enough to see thing as they are. If you truly see things as they are, then you
will see things as they should be. On
the one hand, we should attain enlightenment—that is how things should be. But on the other hand, as long as we are
physical beings, in reality it is pretty hard to attain enlightenment—that is
how things actually are in this moment.
But if we start to sit, both sides of our nature will be brought up, and
we will see things both as they are and as they should be. In the emptiness of our original mind they
are one, and there we find our perfect composure."<br /><br />Part of me is tempted to say that these adverse thoughts don't really matter. My external behavior will remain mostly the same no matter what. But I think it is delusion if I tell myself that they don't matter. While they may in truth be beyond wrong or right, my thoughts are what matter most in my life, and it is extremely important that I watch them and understand them.</span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17515416238657763828noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-575110828189402931.post-75088473659297681322013-01-14T09:35:00.004-08:002013-01-14T09:35:54.601-08:00_ / | \ _sameness and difference are the same<br />difference and sameness are differentAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17515416238657763828noreply@blogger.com0